Eighty-fourth
So here we are again, a late shift at work with very little to do. Not really a lot to talk about either seeing my only colleague left here right now is busy studying for midterms she has next week. So I don’t want to interrupt her in that obviously. I have my mp3 player on so at least it’s not completely quiet. Though most likely not the entire time because I don’t want the battery to go flat.
Today was also the last day that I saw one of my co-workers while she works here. She’s changing jobs within the company. Made me think even more as to why am I still here? She actually started here after I did so that really tells me I’ve been here too long.
Two days ago I also realized that (even though I hate saying it) I’m “too good” for this job. They’re busy with all sorts of things in their outsourcing project so they also have a lot of files to go through. Shouldn’t someone who works with a computer every day know what a zip file does? Just unpack the thing, it should be easy enough. Especially bad because our IT person here didn’t know about that either, that pretty much blew my mind.
You won’t hear me claiming that I know everything but there are certain things people should know when they work with a computer a lot. Especially when it’s an IT person. Not that I could do that job, there are too many things I don’t know about that (yet). At least it was a “big job” they gave me that only took five minutes in the end. Makes me wonder what other kind of jobs they’ve given people in the past which were done in a much harder way than could have been.
Well, it’s not up to me so who cares really. Those are just the kind of things that really make me wonder what the fuck am I doing here? Actually had a short debate about that earlier here. These repetitive jobs are probably more draining than a challenging job. You get the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Things are quite simply a routine, maybe that’s also what’s draining my creative power in some way.
I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!
Tomorrow I’m at least off so that is a good thing after four days in a row, including three late shifts. Simply haven’t slept enough, doesn’t help that I have another late shift on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday though. We’ll survive though, there are worse things in the world. At least I don’t have any day shifts would make things so much worse.
The other day I was also flipping through a notebook (not the script one, another one) and I realized I haven’t written down random thoughts in months. The best description would probably that my mind feels trapped a bit, that it has more potential than I’m using it for and that it’s punishing me now for neglecting it.
Maybe I should stop psycho-analyzing myself and just do something about it instead.